We’re going to dive into a topic that is going to help you live a better life because you’re going to have less anxiety, less stress and not burnout and that’s setting boundaries.
Topics covered include:
- How to set boundaries
- How boundaries allow you to connect more to yourself
- How setting boundaries actually gives you more freedom
I am confident that what we’re going to talk about today will help you be able to understand your life better and live lighter, be able to feel like you’re floating around. It will help you to not have all that stress and worry on your shoulders which can literally weigh you down. It is possible to feel lighter when you have less worries, when you have less stress and anxiety, less tightness in your chest, less stomach flipping, whatever it is you feel when you feel stress or anxiety.
Setting up boundaries for yourself as well as for others is one of the most important things you can do for yourself and for your personal development journey. Setting boundaries will not only contribute to your overall happiness but it also gives you the freedom and space that you need in order to be your truest, most authentic self, which is what will really help you connect to your soul.
When you connect more to yourself and to your soul, that’s when you’re able to step into and tap into your true power. Things will just start to flow and life gets really good. You’ll be able to make decisions are easier and just know when something is right for you. There are so many benefits of connecting with yourself on a soul level.
What are healthy boundaries?
So what are boundaries exactly? Boundaries are mostly telling yourself or someone else no. We live in a world where we always say yes.
Yes to more hours, yes to more work, yes to going out when really sometimes we need to say, no. No, I can’t take on this extra project because I can’t split my time. I don’t have enough energy to do both projects to the quality that you’re expecting from me.
No, to your friends when you just need a night in to recharge your batteries. No to that friend who is constantly harassing you over things and you’re sick of being the one to just listen to them complain all the time.
There are so many things that you have the opportunity to say no to during the day and you’re probably saying yes to.
When you begin to set up personal boundaries, you’re really giving yourself the space that you need, not just to connect to yourself, but in order to grow. When you start to set up boundaries is when you begin to understand yourself a little bit better and are able to start practicing the power of saying no. And saying no is powerful.
When you start saying no you’re practicing having control over your own life. Remember, you are the creator of your life. Things are happening for you, not to you. So if you’re not making the choices to do things that are best for you, if you’re not saying no and setting boundaries when you need to, then you’re not in control of your life.
You’re letting things happen to you. You are the person who is letting these things flow to you, walk, stomp or push into your life. Maybe these people or things are pushing you around. But it’s only you who can stop them from doing that.
It’s time for you to step up, to step into your power, to step into your control and start exercising that inner belief that you have in yourself. You may not think it’s there, but it is.
We all have the power in ourselves. We all have the ability to say no, to set up boundaries and to protect your boundaries.
How to set boundaries
Establishing boundaries begins with looking at your life and starting to decide what kind of boundaries that you need. Do you need boundaries in relationships? Do you need friendship boundaries? Do you need to be setting boundaries for yourself?
Personally, I started with a morning routine. A morning routine is what allows you to get yourself going in the morning, to get yourself connected and sorted, energized and ready for the day.
You need to get yourself together before you can help anyone else. And if you tell yourself that you need to be putting someone else (kids, husband, etc) before yourself, ask yourself, how are you giving that person your full energy?
If you’re not building yourself up, if you’re not letting your energy levels rise in the morning by doing things that fulfill you first then you’re doing yourself and the person or people you want to show up for a disservice by not giving yourself the time you need in the morning to become fully charged.
Let’s be real, no one can roll out of bed and be ready to go and 100% the second they wake up. That just doesn’t happen ever.
Setting time aside in the morning is really the first boundary that you can make for yourself.
Another boundary that you can make is saying no to your workload, saying no to a full schedule. I understand that this can be hard in a world where doing more is seen as better. I get it, but we all need time to rest. We all need time just to chill out and have those Netflix nights where you’re just watching trashy reality TV or a documentary to recharge.
We all need time away from people. Whether you are an extrovert or an introvert, it’s just going to depend how much more or little time you’re going to need to yourself.
Saying yes all the time to bosses and to friends and to family members is really a form of people pleasing and if you’re more focused on pleasing other people than you are yourself, then what does that say about you?
It’s totally okay if you’re just realizing this. I’m still realizing this about myself sometimes and then I take a step back and reevaluate what I need to be doing, what boundaries I need to be setting. And this a habit that you could use in your life too.
Setting boundaries in friendships (or with others)
When setting up boundaries with others it’s important to note that you don’t have to give them a reason. You don’t have to tell your friends why you don’t want to hangout and if they push you that’s them lacking respect for you.
You have the free will to let them know if you just want time to yourself or if you prefer not to hangout with them. Some people will push, others will respect you or check in to make sure you’re okay.
Just know that you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
How setting boundaries leads to less stress, anxiety and burnout
Saying no to things (or people) that you know don’t work for you is also a form of self integrity. When you hold more self integrity, you’re actually building trust in yourself. And when you begin to trust yourself more is when you can really begin to tap into your intuition.
Do you see how all this stuff is starting to come together?
Something as simple as holding some boundaries for yourself can lead to trust, which can lead to connecting more with your soul and your intuition, which means that you can make decisions more easily.
How fabulous is it when you can make easy decisions? We live in a world where we have to make what seems like a million decisions and minute and decision fatigue is a very really thing.
But when you set boundaries for yourself you’re better able to connect to yourself and your intuition which assists in making decisions, big or small.
Being able to make decisions and just know, just having a gut something that something is right is what helps relieve anxiety and stress and burnout.
Learning to say no because you don’t need to say yes to every single opportunity is what is going to save you from burnout.
Burnout is the feeling of always being on the go, constant stress or anxiety. It’s feeling like you can’t break out of the bubble that you’re trapped in. It’s a tightness in your chest. It’s an uneasy tummy. It’s a soreness in your shoulders from just holding on and doing everything. It’s not listening to your intuition and your soul that is calling you and telling you to stop, to slow down, to say no, to set some boundaries in your life.
Boundaries could also be as simple as not even telling other people no, but telling yourself, no. Telling yourself, no, I’m not going to have that junk food tonight because I know how it’s going to make me feel and I know how I want to feel, and it’s not that. It’s not how that junk food is going to make me feel.
It’s telling yourself that you’re going to go to bed by a certain time because getting up early really is important to you so that you can fit in that morning routine so that you can feel energized and great so that you can go out prepared to live your day with your highest energy levels.
Setting a boundary could be saying no to ordering a meal in or a dinner out because you would rather save the money and use that for an experience rather than on food.
Setting boundaries could be scheduling time in your calendar to get to yoga or to the gym or to work on that passion project that you’ve always wanted to start or to do that hobby that you absolutely love but somehow don’t really seem to have time for.
Setting boundaries comes in so many different ways and it’s really just you tapping into what you already know and learning to say no. It’s learning to understand what it is that you need to fully function at your highest energy self, to vibrate at the highest frequency possible so that you can feel good all the time.
Setting boundaries eliminates all the guilt and the shame and all those low vibe emotions that cause anxiety and stress. It elevates you to these higher emotions like joy and happiness and help you find fulfillment in yourself and in your life.
Setting healthy boundaries in your life
Grab a journal and just write stuff down. Notice when you start feeling anxiety or stress or you’re taking on too much.
Are you saying yes to people that you don’t actually want to hang out with?
Are you completely ignoring something that you want to be doing but keep filling your time with other things?
Begin to notice where you’re not doing things you want to be doing, or doing things that you don’t want to be doing.
In the article, the secret tool that will help you unleash your true potential, I break down self-awareness. This will help you start to notice the little things that are triggering you, which you can then use to help you realize where you need to make boundaries in your life.
When you start making these boundaries, it’s really a form of self-care and self-love.
When you start making these boundaries, when you start connecting to yourself on a deeper level and really being guided by your intuition, life is going to get good for you.